( Blame it on Catullus )

Robert: "Do you have friends? No, you steal napkins."

4 Winds for V-Day: 'Vaginas are red / phalluses are blue, / Valentine's blows / eat some cookies."

Ok, so I was planning to never update this journal again, but I find myself in a predicament. I am going to make a large quantity of my funny quotes into icons. A number of them I am going to icon even if I'm the only one who finds they're amusing. Others, I am not sure if I want to bother unless other people will enjoy them. The following quotes come from various sources. Please help me decide if they are icon-worthy. (If you have specific requests, comment and I'll let you know if the quote in question is already on my list.) Also, I may be hitting up random people for helpful artwork. Some of them would just be more fun with images.

Please help me out! Thanks!

Poll #1077591 Quote Icons
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 7

Pick quotes you would like to see made into icons: (check all that apply)

I came across some random quotes and stuff in my notebook, as well as some that I had forgotten to post. Yays. Oh, not all of them are funny, though.

( witty cut here )

( On to the Silly )

Updates at eat_small_birds, too. Um...yeah. Monday. Right.

Amanda & Stacy's Salon Styles answering machine (by Stacy and Emily): "Hi you've reached ASS Styles, leave your name and number and we'll get back to you. If this is about liability we won't be getting back to you." ~ Stacy
"If you went blind, we're sorry." ~ Emily

On injecting hormones into animals: "They're like what's going on? We don't know what to do. Obey the hormones!" ~ me

Reading Bio textbooks: "I don't want to ruin the surprise." ~ Amanda
"What, gender confused rats?" ~ Stacy

Ryuzaki-sensei: "What are you doing getting flung around by their pace? Stupid!"
Kaidoh & Momo: "Because we're awkward."
Ryuzaki-sensei: "Can't you go through the match with a poker face?"
Kaidoh & Momo: "We can't because we're awkward."

Ahahahahaha. It's so much better with the drawings. Made of happy.

( Pigeons have no sense of history. )

Yays.

Christina and I have been solving the problems of the world. On an only slightly related note, we're funny!

"I like cheese, I like clothes."

"He needs sex."
"Sustainable sex."

John Moore (x-posted to john_moore_says):

"Buy Miller's beer. It makes you drunk!"

"Language is adjusted by them to make it easier to sell the absurd."

"Isn't it funny how nobody quotes god...and when they do, it's scoundrels like myself, atheists using it as literature. And when they do, nobody gets it!"

"That's what I do, I try to create people with whom I can have a conversation."

"You could be prime minister of Germany, or you could be shot!"

David Rohrbacher:

"We're laughing about it 'cause we're immature."

"I don't think she [Aphrodite] came down in a flapping penis-mobile." (on the Latin penis/sparrow euphemism)

"I dunno, here's a gorilla."

"[Olisboi] pop up a lot...Let's say more than the word 'dildo' in the collected works of John Milton."

"Well, I guess we can talk about penises now."

"Things that are small and delicate are prettier than things that are big and...dangly."

"You can't say 'the penis got stuck in the vagina' so you say 'the banana got stuck in the tail pipe'."

"...medieval Ugandan sex..."

Moore sayeth: (x-posted to john_moore_says)

"A hungry alpha swallows 'em down, with only a circumflex accent to show for it. Like a huge burp."

Rohrbacherism: "I've got your virtue right here!" (on the osmosis of love and virtue...and fluids and such)

"Back then, scientists hadn't even discovered anything yet. They were just crackpots."

"Instead of 'Let's build jet airplanes' it's 'Let's not starve to death.' Thank you, sex, for allowing us to grow crops so we don't starve." (on Aristophanes)

"We're all looking at beauty. Our genitals are left far behind."

...And more!

"It kind of sucks, though. He's pretty much just chained to a rock." ~~ Lauren on Prometheus

"I have boob zits!" ~~ Story

"Everybody loves a good violated egg." ~~ Christina O'Connor

"I'm sorry but you've upset the tree-shrimps." ~~ the Asian Lady in Christina's dream

ROHRBACHERISMS!

"What if Socrates is his [Aristophanes] soul mate? That would be kind of an eight-limbed monster that would be fun to hang around."

"I am your slave. I'll do anything for you. Please step on my body."

"Couldn't sex be good even if it didn't help you with your trigonometry homework?"

"I want you to be moral when you grow up, let me do this action to you. It'll help the state, let me touch that."

ALSO, from Christina and Chris the other night: "Don't insult the vagina washers!"
"Is there a personal story behind that?"

YAY!

"...if I can speak for him [Michel Foucault], and since he's dead I guess I can..."

"In the good old days we had the use of every orifice, and now the Christians are repressing me, man."

"The sulfurous smell of Latin..."

"The orifices of the universe ask you to support Gaius Cuspium Pansam for aedile."

"Modern day porn stars are less likely to be named Tuba or Bassoon."

And one from John Moore: "But not so with these shorter males. They have a shorter ending. I'm sure it's led to ending-envy." (about noun declensions)

"Come to my room in half an hour...and bring some rye bread." (the Man who Came to Dinner)

Ok, just stumbled across these. Wish I had the quote about the Athenian-style democratic state of Rohrbacherstan, but I don't. Oh well.

"Item #9000 in why the ancients were cooler than we are: None of our storage devices have naked men driving a sharpened, burning stake into someone's eye."

"Soon we're just going to be hopping on one leg...a nation of pogo-sticks."

"Technically speaking, I do in fact lack a horse."

"No, you're guilty you sleazy vegetarian."

That's all the Rohrbacher you get until next semester, so relish while you can!

John Moore sayeth: "Do you have an iota subscript?"

"Now you've entered into a whole new arena of comic possibility that the average person is denied."

"He's my model in many ways. He's the most absent-minded person I know."

David Rohrbacher speaketh thus: "Don't punch my face, please punch his."

"First there were 6 naked men walking on the savannah, now we have jet airplanes."

John Moore-style Silly: "This is where it went wrong. Right here! Fundamentalism creeping RIGHT IN!"

"Outside the wall with you. But first--put some clothes on! [...] Who told you you were naked? God hates knowledge in humans. [laughs] [...] Wouldn't it have been fun not to know that you were naked?"

David Rohrbacher-style Silly: "It's like a hidden identity. Declensional man!"

"No smoking food, You can have as much food as you want, as long as it's not ACTUALLY on fire."

"Catalina is like the name of a salad dressing [...] and it's a pink one."

"This cigarette tastes fine, but it hasn't conquered anyone." (about "veni vidi vici" being printed on packs of Marlboro cigarettes).

(as the cigarette) "I've conquered you! Now you're hooked on nicotine and must smoke me forever!"

Dan Cotter-style Silly: "I was camping outside of Fresno with a bunch of Australian ninjas..."


(P.S. Ohhh, the icon goodness.)

Ok, so no one will possibly appreciate this on the level I do because no one else is an LBC AND a Prince of Tennis fan, but still. Hilarious. "Hey Driver" + Prince of Tennis. Ahhh, good times. Couldn't stop laughing.

"It's the wrong way to make war! Don't just kill people, steal their stuff!" ~~ John Moore