I came across some random quotes and stuff in my notebook, as well as some that I had forgotten to post. Yays. Oh, not all of them are funny, though.

( witty cut here )

( Pigeons have no sense of history. )

Yays.

John Moore (x-posted to john_moore_says):

"Buy Miller's beer. It makes you drunk!"

"Language is adjusted by them to make it easier to sell the absurd."

"Isn't it funny how nobody quotes god...and when they do, it's scoundrels like myself, atheists using it as literature. And when they do, nobody gets it!"

"That's what I do, I try to create people with whom I can have a conversation."

"You could be prime minister of Germany, or you could be shot!"

David Rohrbacher:

"We're laughing about it 'cause we're immature."

"I don't think she [Aphrodite] came down in a flapping penis-mobile." (on the Latin penis/sparrow euphemism)

"I dunno, here's a gorilla."

"[Olisboi] pop up a lot...Let's say more than the word 'dildo' in the collected works of John Milton."

"Well, I guess we can talk about penises now."

"Things that are small and delicate are prettier than things that are big and...dangly."

"You can't say 'the penis got stuck in the vagina' so you say 'the banana got stuck in the tail pipe'."

"...medieval Ugandan sex..."

Moore sayeth: (x-posted to john_moore_says)

"A hungry alpha swallows 'em down, with only a circumflex accent to show for it. Like a huge burp."

Rohrbacherism: "I've got your virtue right here!" (on the osmosis of love and virtue...and fluids and such)

"Back then, scientists hadn't even discovered anything yet. They were just crackpots."

"Instead of 'Let's build jet airplanes' it's 'Let's not starve to death.' Thank you, sex, for allowing us to grow crops so we don't starve." (on Aristophanes)

"We're all looking at beauty. Our genitals are left far behind."

...And more!

"It kind of sucks, though. He's pretty much just chained to a rock." ~~ Lauren on Prometheus

"I have boob zits!" ~~ Story

"Everybody loves a good violated egg." ~~ Christina O'Connor

"I'm sorry but you've upset the tree-shrimps." ~~ the Asian Lady in Christina's dream

John Moore sayeth: "Do you have an iota subscript?"

"Now you've entered into a whole new arena of comic possibility that the average person is denied."

"He's my model in many ways. He's the most absent-minded person I know."

David Rohrbacher speaketh thus: "Don't punch my face, please punch his."

"First there were 6 naked men walking on the savannah, now we have jet airplanes."

John Moore-style Silly: "This is where it went wrong. Right here! Fundamentalism creeping RIGHT IN!"

"Outside the wall with you. But first--put some clothes on! [...] Who told you you were naked? God hates knowledge in humans. [laughs] [...] Wouldn't it have been fun not to know that you were naked?"

David Rohrbacher-style Silly: "It's like a hidden identity. Declensional man!"

"No smoking food, You can have as much food as you want, as long as it's not ACTUALLY on fire."

"Catalina is like the name of a salad dressing [...] and it's a pink one."

"This cigarette tastes fine, but it hasn't conquered anyone." (about "veni vidi vici" being printed on packs of Marlboro cigarettes).

(as the cigarette) "I've conquered you! Now you're hooked on nicotine and must smoke me forever!"

Dan Cotter-style Silly: "I was camping outside of Fresno with a bunch of Australian ninjas..."


(P.S. Ohhh, the icon goodness.)

"It's the wrong way to make war! Don't just kill people, steal their stuff!" ~~ John Moore

"It's probably good for them*, unlike second-hand smoke. Second-hand Greek!" ~~ John Moore

*refers to general other people who are around you while you're studying Greek